Thursday, July 9, 2009

Lunchtime News Update, July 9, 1540 AD

On this day in 1540 AD...

Henry VIII of England annuls his marriage to his fourth wife, Anne of Cleves.

Dammit! I'm only up to episode 304 of The Tudors and now I know how the season ends.

History should come with "spoiler alerts".

And when is that crazy-eyed Johnathan Rhys Meyers gonna put on the fat suit and carry around a turkey leg?!

Sure, maybe that song is less than historically accurate. But, are you telling me Showtime's playing fast & loose with facts? They're cable, for God's sake! And cable you have to pay for, too. That should mean something.

If movies have taught me anything- it's this: Henry the VIII was a big man. Charles Laughton doesn't play you in a movie if you're some skinny dude.

Check out the pic above: Henry's clearly holding a croissant in his right hand. (He was king of France at one point, too, right? I have to admit sometimes I drift in and out of the episodes).

Or maybe it's a rolled-up pancake. The point is: the guy liked to eat.

This is no way to win an Emmy, Mr. Meyers.

Actually... what the hell is Henry the VIII holding in his right hand?


  1. Can you imagine how nervous Anne of Cleves was when it was clear that Henry wasn't into her? I don't think she was his type. She was very sincere and down-to-earth, nothing like the skilled, flattering courtiers he was used to. In the end, though, she fared much better than any of his other wives.

  2. Apparently, Anne of Cleves wasn't all that into Henry, either. But, politics is politics.

    But, if the real Henry 8 was anything like that wild-eyed Johnathan Rhys Meyers, I'd be nervous, that's for sure.

    I'm looking forward to seeing Joss Stone's interpretation of Anne of Cleves.

  3. I don't know for sure, but it seems like Henry's transformation to the corpulent, turkey leg-eating, Charles Laughton type happened kind of quickly. Portrait artists hadn't caught up with his ever widening girth (not to mention they had to flatter or risk pissing him off), so all Anne had to go on were flattering portraits and word of mouth saying how hot he was. Must have been quite a shocker. Also, I think he was a bit of a Smelly Melly...

  4. Didn't everybody stink back then?

  5. Yeah, there's a lot of stuff about the poor level of hygiene then, but I'm talking about the stink of decaying, putrid flesh - the stink from his leg wound, which never really healed.

  6. Wow, bb- this conversation got gruesome pretty fast! But, you do have a way with descriptive language. It's one of the many things I love about you!